


But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

by baslaw



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Can't get the guy, Depressed Lydia Martin, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone is happy except Lydia, F/M, Heathers References, Hiding, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, If she only realized sooner, Inspired by Teen Wolf (TV), Jealous Lydia Martin, Jealousy, Malia is an angel, NO DEATHS, Oblivious, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, One Shot, Sad Lydia, Sad Lydia Martin, Short One Shot, Song: Heather (Conan Gray), Stalia, Stiles Stilinski is a Nice Thing, Stiles is happy with Malia, Stydia, envy - Freeform, please read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27340939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baslaw/pseuds/baslaw
Summary: Stiles and Malia:   <3Lydia:   :(Malia is Heather. Lydia is wondering why she never figured out her feelings sooner. Now she's simply too late.
Relationships: Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski & Malia Tate, Stiles Stilinski/Malia Tate
Kudos: 24





	But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried something new... 
> 
> Full disclosure: I didn't do the entire song. So... sorry bout that hehe.

_I still remember the third of December_

Before everything turned to shit. Before I realized how much I would miss your touch, your laugh. Your feeble attempts to get my attention. Miss you looking at me with longing and joy. I pretended I hated it when I really loved it. No one else looked at me like that. You made me feel special. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_Me in your sweater, you said it looked better  
On me, than it did you, only If you knew  
How much I liked you_

It was December, the day after Christmas. Me being, well, me, I didn't think about how cold it would be when we went bowling - what was with the pack and bowling anyways? Doesn't matter. Nothing did, as you noticed my shivering. You paid attention, and you draped your jacket on me. You didn't seem to care about the cold. It must've been, you were only in a flannel. But as your back turned, I looked down at the black material. I didn't think, just acted on impulse. When your back was turned, I gave it a small sniff. And smiled. If only you knew... If only I knew. If only I didn't waste all that time pretending. Gosh, I spent so much time pretending you were just another boy, vying for my attention. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_But I watch your eyes as she walks by_

Talking in the halls as we usually did. Your face... after the nogitsune your face just had a sad, sullen look to it. Now it's not really there but before no one knew how to cheer you up. I was trying. You were looking at me, and I thought that was progress. Suddenly, in the middle of my sentence, your face broke into a grin. As hopeful as I was, I thought I did it. I got you to smile after everything. Not a pained one, but a beautiful, bright, Stilinski smile. I was naive. I was stupid. Because I realized you weren't looking at me. You were looking at her. 

_What a sight for sore eyes  
Brighter than the blue sky_

I turned around, and I must admit my breath caught when seeing her again. We only briefly met, after all. All she was to me until that moment was a name. You gave her a small wave, the most emotion I've seen on your face in a while. She looked at him, replying with a smirk. A playful smirk. A beautiful smirk. Her eyes shining so brightly. I was captivated by her essence. I looked back and noticed that you were too. Just as fast as she passed us, she was gone. Disappeared around the corner, and with her your smile. It used to be me, making you smile so wide without even trying. Back when we were two innocent teenagers, one who liked the other. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_She's got you mesmerized  
While I die_

It happens again. Except for this time it's during lunch. She was asking the true alfa for help taming her abilities. She never had to hide who she was before, after all. She spoke with her hands flying around wildly, just as yours. You couldn't keep your eyes off of her. All she was doing was talking, and not in a very polite way might I add. Yet it was your turn to be under her spell. No longer mine. I made that realization sitting on that table, picking at my lunch while watching you in the corner of my eye. I wasn't ready for it. I didn't realize it was heartbreak until I excused myself from the table and escape into a washroom stall to find tears falling down my cheeks. Gone was your infatuation with me. Gone were those days you'd buy so many gifts just to find me the right one. Gone were all those days you trailed behind me, you watching me. I didn't realize I'd miss it. But after all, I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

The first time I saw the two of you kiss was in the halls, the same halls I saw the girl who stole your heart. I turned the corner and saw the two of you talking in front of her locker. You spotted me and waved, venturing me to join. I remember the twist in my stomach, seeing your arm flake around hers as you gave me a smile. No longer a Stilinski one, those are reserved for her now. The girl saw me too, yet barely even acknowledged me. She simply pulled Stiles down to her height and gave him a small, sweet kiss. I didn't mean to stop. I didn't mean for my heartbeat to start exploding, for my eyes to start welling up with tears. For green envy to consume me. I was glad she was still learning how to control her powers. She wouldn't be able to decipher the feelings flying off of me at that moment. Even before she came along, what did you see in me? I was a stuck up bitch treating you horribly. How I wish I can go back to those days where all you wanted was me. Little old me. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_I'm not even half as pretty_

Her hair was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled. Her smile was infectious. Her personality was addictive. Her face was naturally beautiful. She lived in the goddamn woods and probably doesn't even know how to apply makeup. She never wore a facemask, or used product to make your face smooth. And yet she was breathtaking. Beautiful. Yours. Remember when you called me beautiful? I was spiraling, mad that Jackson didn't ask me to the dance. Mad that you, in fact, did. You told me that I looked beautiful, and my pathetic little 'really' that followed. I never understood why I was happy you thought I was beautiful at the time. Why I wanted to hear those words so badly. But I'll probably never hear them again. At least, not in that way. Maybe if I got my head out of my ass and admitted it to myself sooner. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_You gave her your sweater  
It's just polyester_

The entire pack noticed. She was always cold. No longer acquiring the warm fur coat that surrounded her for most of her years. You, obviously, noticed first. You notice everything first. I'm not sure when the discussion arose, but the first time you gave it to her in front of me, I was shocked. You didn't even ask. She didn't even shiver. Yet again, she never wanted to show signs of weakness. But you read her like an open book. The way you used to read me. You simply took off your jacket in the middle of the pack meeting and wrapped it around her shoulders. You simply sat down once more and continued listening to the Sourwolf. You and your nicknames...  
When your back was turned I saw. She picked a piece of her jacket, looking confused yet lively. I could tell she was making a mental debate what to do, when she suddenly leaned her head down and sniffed it. Just as I had. She smiled fondly, and without warning laid her head back so it rested on your shoulder. Then, you moved around and let her rest her head on your lap as you pet her hair, the alpha's words forgotten by the three of us. If only I was smart enough to lean into you back when the jacket was around my shoulders. Would it have made a difference? Would you be giving me the same loving look you were giving her? I'm glad you didn't use the same jacket, at least. I liked to think that one was just mine. That you didn't want someone else to wear something that once was on me. But I knew I was deluding myself. You probably just outgrew it. But I took it for granted, and now it's gone.

_But you like her better_

You do. After all, she actually admitted to liking you back. You two actually have a relationship. You probably just liked the idea of me. Still, despite all my jealousy. Everything I felt whenever I saw the two of you together, I couldn't hate her. She was so sweet, we've even become this odd pair of friends. I'm not sure if I could ever truly like her though. After all, she has your heart while I do not. Because I took it all for granted, and now it's gone. And it will probably never be mine again.

_I wish I were Heather_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what I think of this yet...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it though!!!
> 
> Comments and Kudo's greatly appreciated.


End file.
